The Toy Store

[notjustaface]

It's been nearly a year since they met in Mexico, but something about a near death experience or two makes it easy to fall into friendship with the guys Hannibal picked up along the way.

One of them being Captain H.M. Murdock, the crazy (maybe crazy-genius, he's not sure yet) pilot that seems bent on killing them all through either his flying or cooking. He also happens to be the reason they're standing outside a Toys-R-Us on a Saturday afternoon instead of back at the base where he could be following up on a cute cadet he'd seen around.

It's not too bad, of course, but until their ride shows up to ferry them back he's stuck - like it or not.

Comments

[notthatcrazy]

His lunch companion, on the other hand, seems to have no such qualms about the Giant Consumer Monument to Childishness they've found themselves in front of. He's already half-tugging at Face's sleeve to get him to follow him inside.

"C'mon, I wanna see if they got any of those new action figures."

[notjustaface]

He knew that was coming, but protests anyway - more because it's entertaining to watch him try and convince anyone to anything.

"I am not going into a toy store." He smirks, pulling his leather jacket tighter; "Come on, two grown men going in there without a kid?"

[notthatcrazy]

He rolls his eyes. "Just tell 'em you're shopping for your nephew or somethin', it ain't that weird."

Don't try to go up against the H.M Murdock Wall of Stubborn. You will not win.

[notjustaface]

He likes walls - going through them, over them, around them.

Changing tactic, he replies; "Hannibal's gonna pick us up in like an hour... you go in there I'm never gonna get you out."

[notthatcrazy]

"I'm goin' in whether you come with or not. More likely to get out of there faster if you're with me," he points out.

He puts on his best innocent look, complete with big puppy-dog eyes. "I'll be quick. Scout's honor."

[notjustaface]

Face groans and rolls his eyes. He's right, of course, he's still got the teddy bear stashed in his footlocker from the last time he had to pull Murdock out of a toy store.

"Not the puppy eyes..." he sighs, the slight upturn of his lips a dead giveaway to his feigned frustration. Offering his sleeve - totally not his arm because that'd be weird, right? - he gives in. "Just an hour and then we've gotta roll."

[notthatcrazy]

You can't get rid of the teddy bear. It's an honored gift.

Grinning, he takes the offered sleeve and pulls him through the door. The walls inside are crammed nearly floor to ceiling with movie tie-in toys, plush creatures of all shapes and sizes, and more brightly colored plastic than you can shake a stick at.

The gleeful noise he makes sounds really out of place coming from an adult man.

[notjustaface]

An honored gift with a great big heart on the foot that asks for hugs when it gets pushed. Accidentally, of course.

They pass an old man in a store uniform that gets a weak 'he's special, don't mind him' smile before Face pushes closer and lets his arm press against Murdock's back - subtly guiding him away from a rack of plush clownfish and sea turtles.

"Can we try to look normal?"

[notthatcrazy]

"Look who you're asking."

He sticks out his lip stubbornly as they pass a rack of marked-down Matrix action figures. Totally not weird.

[notjustaface]

His eyerolling is interrupted by the need to flash another innocent smile at a mother and little girl with Swan Lake Barbie clutched in her hand and a stuffed otter in the other.

"Just... okay, what aisle are we looking for?"

[notthatcrazy]

He gives them his best friendly 'nothing to see here' smile as he scans the signs about the aisles.

"Ooh, this way."

He tugs at Face's sleeve again as they head toward a display of Nerf toys.

[notjustaface]

Foam ballistics? Now that is an endeavor he can get behind...

"Now that..." he murmurs, pulling away to pick up a purple, orange and green pisot on the "try it" display. In a smooth action, he pulls back the plunger to feed a round into the chamber and points it down the aisle. "This is what I'm talking about."

[notthatcrazy]

See that? That is the grin of someone who's about to have an epic Nerf duel in a public space.

"Knew we'd find something to appeal to your inner child."

[notjustaface]

Face turns to him with a cocked eyebrow and equally tilted grin before aiming it at Murdock's baseball cap.

"Snipers don't have inner children, my friend. I just know a fine piece of plastic weaponry when I see it."

[notthatcrazy]

"Sure ya don't."

He grabs one of Nerf's finest to defend himself with before ducking behind the nearest shelf.

The Care Bears can sacrifice themselves for the sake of righteousness.

[notjustaface]

He's about to say something clever - really - when Murdock darts out of his sights.

"Oh, it is on... you think you can beat me?" He laughs, turning out of the line of fire behind a strategically placed display of Transformers.

[notthatcrazy]

"I don't think, I know."

Tough talk from the guy whose defense force was made in China by Hasbro.

[notjustaface]

Especially one that knows who he's dealing with.

"Keep talking, makes it easier to shoot you. You know... like they taught you in basic training." He calls back before silencing himself to slide along the alley, pressing a finger to his lips to silence a confused looking kid.

[notthatcrazy]

Aw, it's not his fault Face is so fun to tease.

Risking exposure, he sticks his head out to get a bead on his opponent, making sure no innocent bystanders are in the line of fire before getting off the first shot.

"How ya like me now!"

Someone's not using his Indoor Voice.

[notjustaface]

Now that's just a lucky shot - that misses him by a mile but sends him scurrying back the way he came, taking a 6" Optimus Prime with him.

"Oh, I like you just fine!" He grins wildly, stalking the end of the aisle before testing the strength of the shelves with a strong push of his weight against them.

He whispers under his breath; "You are mine..."

[notthatcrazy]

More than you know, Faceman.

He tsks as the shot goes wild, taking cover behind the Care Bears again. As it happens, Grumpy Bear is the one standing between him and simulated foam annihilation.

"At least it wasn't a Decepticon," he mutters to no one in particular.

[notjustaface]

Never one to shirk the opportunity for an advantage, Face hoists himself up on the shelves, climbing to the top before pushing aside a row of Cheer bears to let one rainbow belly dig into his knee as he aims straight down at Murdock's hat.

"Hasta La Vista, baby..." he laughs out loud as he pulls the trigger, eyes wide when it only lets out a hollow plastic clank.

Always check your ammo, man.

[notthatcrazy]

It's a rookie mistake, and not one he'd ever make on an actual field of battle, but Murdock takes advantage of it nonetheless, taking aim and getting off a shot to Face's shoulder.

"Let my Care Bears go!"

[notjustaface]

The round clips him on the shoulder - totally non-fatal- so he pushes onward and calls back; "Civilian casualties, it's a sad reality..."

As usual, the idea hits him before the actual consideration of the consequences of his actions - which occurs to him right as he drops down off the high shelf onto Murdock's position.

He tosses the empty pistol down beside him right as he lands on top of his friend, pinning him against the shiny linoleum floor.

[notthatcrazy]

His fight-or-flight instinct kicks in then, and he has to remind himself that they're just playing a game before he tries to raise the remaining Nerf weapon out of Face's reach.

"I will never yield!"

His accent seems to have gone a bit Scottish, for reasons no one has yet figured out.

[notjustaface]

Face feels the tension course through them for a second - but shakes it off to lean in closer, reaching for the weapon.

"You know I like a challenge." He smirks even wider, one hand pinning Murdock's shoulder against the floor as the other slides up his arm to grab the gun.

Nothing strange here... nothing at all.

[notthatcrazy]

Nope. Not at all thinking about doing this in a totally different context.

Squirming wildly, he manages to get enough leverage to slip away, scooting back along the linoleum.

"Not gonna get me that easily."

[notjustaface]

Because that would be awkward and weird...

"Slippery bastard..." Face curses under his breath, scrambling in the small pile of plush to take out the other man's knees - sending a Grumpy bear spinning between Murdock's legs in the process.

"You are going down, buddy."

[notthatcrazy]

And there's totally nothing weird or awkward about what they're doing now.

"Hah, you wish."

He grabs the bear as he continues trying to move away, but he's not able to get much purchase on the slippery tile. Someone's going to get kicked somewhere if they aren't careful.

[notjustaface]

Unless you happen to be one of the increasing number of children and adults observing their antics, of course.

He lurches forward - ready to end it once and for all and wrest the pistol out of his friend's hand, already planning his victory - when Murdock's knee catches him at the worst possible angle.

"Fuck..." he barely stifles cry, rolling immediately onto his back, knees drawing together and up with the strike of pain to his groin.

[notthatcrazy]

Murdock at least manages to avoid scandalizing the youngsters with any further swearing as he gets up.

"Shoot, sorry man. You okay?"

He's still holding Grumpy Bear in front of him like an offering.

[notjustaface]

"Fine..." he squeaks with a grimace, not quite ready to get up off the floor yet. Big bad Ranger can't handle a little shot to the goodies.

He manages to look up, almost smiling with the genuine concern on his friend's face - it was an accident at least. And casualties happen in love and war.

War...

He looks up just above his head and forgetting the ache in his balls he snatches the unguarded pistol and takes a free shot without aiming.

[notthatcrazy]

The shot, though not aimed properly, manages to glance off his chest, and he immediately falls back to the ground, taking his "death" to the extreme. He holds up the poor beleaguered Care Bear to the sky, much to the bemusement of the gathered onlookers.

After a moment of silence, he reached over and punches Face lightly on the shoulder. "See if I ever act concerned about you again."

[notjustaface]

With a triumphant howl, Face laughs, falling back down against the linoleum clutching himself as he watches the theatrical "death" - complete with mimed blood spewing out his mouth and clutching the blue bear.

With the gentle punch, he rolls onto his side - smashing another Cheer bear under his chest - and laughs again. "Never underestimate your enemy, man... remember the little old lady in Tijuana?"

He's pulled out of the moment by a familiar clearing of throat and Hannibal's voice above them. "Lieutenant? Captain?" The Colonel fixes them with a steely, unamused glare.

"Uh... Colonel..." Face flashes again, managing back up onto his feet with a wince. "We were, uh... simply demonstrating the importance of tactical advantage..."

[notthatcrazy]

"Uh-oh," he whispers. "Dad's here."

He stands to attention, nudging a few errant plush toys aside with his foot. "And the importance of adaptability in combat conditions. Sir."

It might be more convincing if he'd let go of Grumpy.

[notjustaface]

Fighting not to laugh at the comment, Face forces a somewhat convincingly stern expression and a somewhat more rigid stance before adding; "And improvised weaponry."

Hannibal shakes his head, surveying the damage. "I'm sure the manager will be pleased to ring up these donations for the Toys For Tots bin."

Face has seen that look before, far too many times really, and knows it's Hannibal's quiet way of striking a deal to keep them both out of too much trouble.

"All of them?" He asks, noting the multitude of stuffed rainbow bears.

"Good to know you boys are feeling extra-generous." He shoots back, withdrawing a cigar from his pocket.

[notthatcrazy]

Never let it be said that the Colonel doesn't know the importance of creative punishments. At least some kids'll have a nice holiday because of their shenanigans.

He looks down at the frowning blue bear in his hand, a small smile threatening to overtake his properly contrite expression. "Can I get this one for BA? They've got a lot in common."

[notjustaface]

That's a lot of cash... but he's a court marshal away from losing his only recently earned stripes, so Face is more than willing to go along with it.

Of course, the teddy bear is enough to break his mostly cool composure with a soft laugh and he answers before Hannibal can; "I bet he'd like that - it's even kinda got a little mini-mohawk there."

"Take care of it, boys." The colonel answers, the corners of his lips tugging almost enough to give away the barest hint of a smile under the stern facade. "We're due back in under an hour."

[notthatcrazy]

It's a fairly big chunk of change, but it won't be too bad with both of them footing the bill. They kind of got off easy this time.

"Yes, sir."

He would point out that he wasn't the one climbing the shelves, but that would only make things worse.

[notjustaface]

Hannibal nods once, lifting his eyes up to a man in a pressed white shirt with a name tag proudly declaring him "Martin - Manager" before looking back to his officers. "Gentlemen, we will leave without you."

And it's a hell of a walk back to base.

"Yes, Sir." Face nods, flashing the manager a weak smile. "We'll, uh... take a couple of those guns too - extra ammo. And, uh... what's your active duty discount?"

[notthatcrazy]

He listens to Face negotiate, on his best behavior. He really does feel bad about the mess they made.

Sure was fun, though.

When they're done working things out with the manager, he leans in next to Face and whispers "I want a rematch."

[notjustaface]

In the end, it's not quite as much as he'd feared, but it'll definitely eat into the pre-deployment beer budget.

And he can't help but grin as they slide into the waiting vehicle and he murmurs in Murdock's ear; "You are so on..."