Boundaries

[notjustaface]

They were fugitives. Somehow just saving the fucking day wasn't enough - and sure, breaking out of prison was against the law but in Face's mind that didn't make it right to end up headed back into custody when they should be celebrating.

So they ran until the Colonel told them it was time to stop for a few days and get their bearings. Face was left with the distinction of scamming a place to stay - which led him to a small house by an oil refinery that had been on the market over a year with no takers.

A quick trip to the realtor's office to get the lockbox key led to a gorgeous new agent named Lynn or Linda or maybe Lori... But she was cute and unhappily married and fell right into Face's trap.

Dinner led to drinks and by the second martini he was feeling like his old self again. The Faceman... Smooth player that gets what he wants. The man that has no problem flirting, kissing her and when she starts leaning closer against him and touching his chest he's the man that leans in and murmurs against her ear; "We should go back to your place."

And two hours later, smelling of sex and cheap perfume mingled with cigarettes and gin, he lets himself out of her condo with the key and couple 'borrowed' fifties to pick up some burgers for the guys to make up for being late to their seven o'clock rendezvous.

"Dinner delivery," he grinned, knocking on the equally 'borrowed' van's sliding door.

"Took you long enough", Hannibal frowns as he takes his styrofoam box. "You're the only con who needs four hours to book a hotel room."

Face clicks his tongue, sliding in beside Murdock with a subconscious distance between them. "Hannibal, I'm hurt. Cons get you a two-star single occupancy..." He holds up the key with a self-satisfied smirk; "Artists get you a house."

Comments

[notthatcrazy]

"I said it wasn't rational."

He looks up, and while there's still some anger left in his eyes, there's self-recrimination there too.

"That's what happens when you fall for the crazy guy."

[notjustaface]

His response was automatic, self defense to slam him with the truth and he knows it. He knows how to push buttons and win a fight, even when he's telling the truth.

"Yeah, well... you started it." He offers an almost shy smile, "I know I don't exactly follow the same standards as everyone else... but I swear, I wasn't just doing it for kicks - okay?"

[notthatcrazy]

"I started it? Very mature."

Hannibal's warning is all too clear in his mind. He'll talk and you'll forgive him. And it's true, he'd rather just curl up with him and pretend none of this is an issue, but if they don't deal with it, it'll come back to bite them in the ass eventually.

"I think you're the one who's dictated where this relationship's gone from the start."

[notjustaface]

In Face's mind he did start it - he had to go and open all these feeling things that he still doesn't know how to deal with.

"I haven't dictated anything, man. Things just happen, okay? You have feelings and I roll with them as much as I can."

Because making it the other guy's fault makes so much sense.

[notthatcrazy]

"And how many times did I back off because you weren't ready to deal with it?"

More than he even realizes.

[notjustaface]

"And how many times could you have pushed harder?" He shoots back, unrestrained. "I'm still not ready, you know? I mean... this whole thing is really weird for both of us."

His shoulders slump slightly and he adds; "Or maybe just me."

[notthatcrazy]

"I'm pushing harder now," he points out. "And neither of us are dealin' with it all that well."

He rests his head on Face's shoulder, in spite of the lingering bitterness he still feels. "It's hard for me too, y'know. Everyone else I've been with checked out way before it got this serious."

[notjustaface]

"This isn't pushing..." he sighs, "this just is what it is. And I'm not gonna question it."

He lets his fingers gently trace Murdock's hand, turning enough to brush a kiss in his hair.

"And if I'm checkin' out any way but in a body bag - you're coming with me. I don't care if whatever we're doing works out or not, you're my friend and teammate first."

[notthatcrazy]

"Can we at least set some ground rules?"

And he's still way too damn forgiving. He kind of hates himself a little bit for it.

"I'd kinda like to know exactly where we stand with the whole 'having sex with other people' thing."

[notjustaface]

The sigh isn't so much for Murdock but for himself.

"You mean so you can tell me what I'm doing wrong?" He mutters; "Sure, fine. What are you comfortable with?"

[notthatcrazy]

He huffs, pulling away from him.

"Y'know, forget it. Forget I even brought it up."

[notjustaface]

If it was someone he could walk away from, this would be a hell of a lot easier. As it is, he clenches his hand tight.

"No, I'm not going to forget it. Obviously this is a big deal for you and if it's a big deal we should address it. You thought I was out of line, I get that."

He shakes his head, looking back up him; "You want limits, I'm listening."

[notthatcrazy]

"I don't even know what I want anymore," he sighs.

[notjustaface]

"Don't give me that bullshit," he replies softly, shaking his head even harder.

"You know exactly what you want - you always have. Just spit it out."

[notthatcrazy]

He doesn't know why it's so hard. Whether it's the reminder of how often his feelings have been ignored in the past, or the fact that Face still doesn't get why he's so upset, but whatever patience he had left is pretty much gone.

"How about we start by talking about this like adults instead of trying to figure out who to blame?"

[notjustaface]

Talking. Always talking.

He closes his eyes a long moment and then nods slowly.

"All right, I can do that."

[notthatcrazy]

It's a start. And it's not any easier on his end of the conversation.

"For one thing, could you maybe clue me in when this might be happening so at least I'm not surprised when you come back smelling like cheap perfume?"

[notjustaface]

"It's not like I go out knowing that's the way it's going to happen... it's just one of those things that if everything lines up a certain way - hey, it happens."

He shrugs; "I'll try."

[notthatcrazy]

"I know. And I'm not askin' you to stop doing it."

He may hate it, but he knows that sometimes it is necessary.

"Just... promise you'll try."

He hates how needy he sounds, but he has to know he's taking this seriously.

[notjustaface]

"See... the problem is, when you say it like that it makes me think that you really do think I'm doing this for kicks." He chuckles halfheartedly; "And you know what, maybe sometimes I do but I mean it when I say I'm serious about this."

He hates to admit it, and maybe it sounds cheesy to do it in the middle of a fight, but it's true.

"I don't want to hurt you."

[notthatcrazy]

"See, you say stuff like that and it's really hard to stay mad at you."

He shakes his head.

"Almost makes me wonder if you do that on purpose."

[notjustaface]

Okay, he's a con-artist, and yeah... manipulation is sort of his bread and butter but it's not like that.

Not with Murdock.

"Christ..." he sighs, unlocking his hand and then curling it into another fist until he can feel the ache across his scarred knuckles.

"If you think I'd ever do that to you without a very, very good reason. One that's a hell of a lot better than a real estate agent with a failing marriage and a special key that means we don't have to commit breaking and entering..."

[notthatcrazy]

He takes his hand instinctively, running his thumb over the scars. He's always loved Face's hands.

"I know you don't mean to."

He never does - he's always known that Face would never intentionally hurt him in any way - but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

"... You said 'made love.'"

[notjustaface]

The touch grounds him again, brings him back to the reality of what they're actually talking about. They're both scared, they're both treading on new ground and it isn't like a mission where they can build on everything that's come before.

He lets out another sigh, not as frustrated as before, and shrugs. "What if I did?"

[notthatcrazy]

"You said it on the ship too."

He wonders, on some level, if it's Face's way of distinguishing what they do together from what he does with the girls he scams.

On another level he thinks that may be giving him too much credit.