Built A Better Bear (For Love!)

[notjustaface]

He's been trying, and he knows Murdock has been trying too, but the longer the rift between them continues the more Face feels like it'll never end.

The idea had come to him watching Murdock fret over a small pile of stuffed animals at a thrift store - again - coming back empty handed when none of them "fit" with his current plush posse. Something special, something they could do together where there was no pressure to be romantic, but Murdock would know that he meant it as a genuine gesture.

Which is exactly what had led him to The Build-A-Bear workshop on a Saturday morning when it was overrun with children and exasperated parents with Murdock staring out the windshield as they pulled in.

"Surprise?" He smiles softly, looking at him from the driver's seat as he nervously taps his rings against the steering wheel - still getting used to the weight of wearing them again, if nothing as a reminder to himself.

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[notthatcrazy]

He doesn't have to be asked twice. He runs a hand down Face's spine to the cleft of his ass, quickly preparing them both before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"Love you so much. Don't you ever forget that."

If he's looking for this to be a punishment, he's barking up the wrong tree. He grabs hold of his hips before pushing in quickly.

[notjustaface]

He gasps, grinning into the bedspread at the familiar promise of a gentle touch and slick fingers against him, barely inside him long enough to draw out a hollow moan.

"I know baby..." he murmurs, taking the hard thrust with a pleasured hiss. "God yes... more."

[notthatcrazy]

He keeps up a steady pace, pushing in deep with every thrust as he indulges in all the touches they've been denied over the past two months.

"That what you want, baby?"

[notjustaface]

"Uh huh..." he manages a shaky, high-pitched answer - already breathing heavy as each dig against the bed drives him closer to the edge.

Deep - so fucking deep that he doesn't even care it's not riddled with the stinging painful punishment part of him thinks he deserves.

"God I'm gonna come..." he whimpers, fingers curled tight on the edge of the bed. "Don't stop... even when... don't..."

His breath catches, body shaking and muscles tightening as he spreads his knees wider in an attempt to get him even deeper as he crests.

[notthatcrazy]

Sex is a lot of things to Murdock - an expression of love, a way to blow off steam, just plain fun - but punishment doesn't enter into it. It would hurt him to even think that way.

"I won't," he gasps, thrusting harder as he chases his own release, holding on tight to his lover's back.

[notjustaface]

Coming back around is easy enough, his body throbbing and aching in the the best possible way.

"Yes... fuck..." he groans, closing his eyes tight against the sensation. "That's my fucking boy!"

[notthatcrazy]

He holds back a laugh as he stills inside of him, riding out his own climax before slowly easing down on top of his partner.

"Didn't know I had my own personal cheerleader."

[notjustaface]

It's quick, unexpected and warm... and he's far from done with his boy.

"What can I say... I am your biggest fan." He purrs, still arching his back up against him and digging against the mattress.

"On your back." He orders gently, "Please?"

[notthatcrazy]

"Mmhmm... you always have been." He presses a soft kiss to the nape of his neck, ring chain dangling against his shoulders, before moving off him.

"Up for round two already, huh?"

[notjustaface]

"Since you saved my ass in Mexico..." he laughs, finding his way onto Murdock's chest - kissing him hard.

"I'm always ready."

His laugh fades, but his grin doesn't as he presses gradually softening kisses to his mouth and chin, stroking his sticky cock against his thigh still hard but tender.

"God I've missed you..." His eyes make it clear he means more than just the sex - far more. He missed laughing together, loving each other.

[notthatcrazy]

"Missed you too, baby."

It never really sunk in before just how much he relied on Face, not until they were together but so emotionally distant.

"And I meant it when I said I'm not gonna leave you, ever."

He wraps his arms around Face's shoulders, kissing him tenderly. "You're worth it."

[notjustaface]

With a heady sigh, he moans against Murdock's neck.

"I'm gonna be better..." he murmurs, pushing up on one hand to look him square in the face. "I promise, I'll... I'll wear a fucking chastity belt if I have to. I never want to hurt you like that."

[notthatcrazy]

He leans back, putting sexy thoughts aside just for the moment to concentrate on the look of hurt and fear in his love's eyes.

"It wasn't the cheating that hurt the worst, y'know."

Sure, he was angry about it... maybe still is, a little, but he believes what he'd said about the girl coming on strong. What he can't quite cope with is the thought of Face nearly drinking himself to death rather than coming clean to him.

[notjustaface]

Letting himself down on his elbow, he pushes close, nuzzling against Murdock's chin.

"I couldn't face you, man. I was scared... I didn't want to lie to you and I know me..."

He looks down, his voice catching in his throat. "I couldn't live with that choice."

[notthatcrazy]

"We're in this together, okay?"

He holds him tighter, pressing kisses against his forehead as he blinks back completely unexpected tears.

"Whatever happens... no matter how bad it is, as long as you can make it home, just come back to me, okay? Can you promise that?"

[notjustaface]

His jaw clenches a moment, hating the thought that he might do something like that again. That he might one day have to come home and look him in the face and admit what he did.

"Murdock..." he sighs, licking his lips; "I..."

Rolling onto his back - just a little amazed at his own ability to maintain arousal in even the most awkward of circumstances - he stares up at the ceiling a long moment before quietly answering; "I promise."

He's mostly sure it's the truth - and wishes he could be completely sure it's a promise he can keep.

[notthatcrazy]

He might just surprise himself, if it comes to that.

Murdock sighs, an odd wobbly noise that sounds like it's halfway to becoming a whimper. "Thank you, baby."

He wraps an arm around him, pulling him up until he's half on top of him again. "Now... I believe we were in the middle of something..."

[notjustaface]

He hopes it'll never come to that... but can't help but think some day it might. The world is riddled with possibilities - and their relationship is only proof of that.

Returning easily to the familiar crouch between his lover's thighs, he brushes a gentle kiss against Murdock's lips. "I love you."

What he wants to say is that he's sorry, sorry that Murdock loves him enough to put up with him no matter what - sorry that he can't be completely sure of himself.

[notthatcrazy]

And he'd say that loving him is never a hardship even when it's painful, that he's still the only one in the world he can imagine spending his life with, and he gets that there are reasons why he is the way he is. And he knows he's trying to do better.

"Love you too. So much."

[notjustaface]

Tenderly, he lets his hand stroke down Murdock's side and cup his hip.

"I know..." he swallows hard, kissing him again; "I know you do."

The brash desire is gone, the need for physical pleasure satisfied, but he knows what he wants. "We wouldn't be here if you didn't."

His fingers trail over Murdock's thigh, rubbing the sticky remnants against skin before moaning against his neck; "I wouldn't want you this bad if you didn't. I haven't stopped thinking about you, you know that right? Even when I was sleeping in the back of truck all I could think about was how nice it'd be if I never hurt you. How badly I wanted us to be together."

[notthatcrazy]

"Life's too short for what-ifs."

He knows there's a big part of Face that still hates himself for what he's done, and he wants to stop that part in its tracks for a little while. He's beginning to understand that he can't shut it up permanently.

"We're together now, that's what matters."

[notjustaface]

All the things he's done hurt, a lot of them are filed away with the emotions he doesn't let himself deal with - but Murdock is more than all of it. More than a collection of feelings and mistakes and pain... he's something else entirely.

He can't remove himself like he used to, even when he's stroking his cock against him ready to dig out the bottle of lube and do what he knows best, he's still thinking about a dozen things that aren't just sex.

"Yeah..." he grins wide, kissing him again; "...you're right."

[notthatcrazy]

He returns the kiss with somewhat uncharacteristic fierceness, knowing that Face has always responded best to physicality. If he can't get it through to him in words that what they have means everything to him, actions will have to do.

"Damn right I am. Now you gonna fuck me or what?"

[notjustaface]

He's much better with actions - with demands.

"I'm not a fan of 'or what'." His lips twitch into a smirk once more, treading on familiar territory.

"Fucking..." he half-laughs, taking his wandering hand away to find the lube - flipping open the cap. "I'm good with that."

[notthatcrazy]

"The best," he grins. "In my admittedly limited experience."

He wraps an arm around him loosely. "Got all I want right here."