Separation, Anxiety

[notjustaface]

It hadn't been a particularly hard mission, at least not by comparison to some of the stunts they've managed in the last ten years, but there was one fatal point where it could fall apart. Face had approximately sixty seconds to make it from tunnel to the next - a journey that shouldn't take more than forty-five seconds - before enemy's defensive explosion went off leaving him not only trapped but pinned down and unable to escape assuming he survived the event.

An unexpected sniper cut thirty seconds off the time he had. He was four seconds too late... just behind enough the blast didn't take him out - but not out. He was trapped behind the line, and utterly fucked.

"Put her in the air, Captain." Hannibal says softly, staring at the plume of dust and debris for any sign that Face had made it through last second. There was none.

Comments

[notjustaface]

Taking the answer for what it is, he nods softly and lets out a soft groan.

"Come on, lets go to bed. I'm exhausted... pretty sure you are too."

He tries to push up on his feet, but his muscles refuse to get more than halfway before he sinks back down with a pained grunt. "Might need a hand here. Those assholes did a number on me."

[notthatcrazy]

He can't argue with that.

"Bed sounds really good right now."

Even if he's still doubtful he'll actually sleep much. He helps him back to his feet and back inside, where their plush companions await.

"The camo one's yours, by the way."

[notjustaface]

Easing back down into the bed helps a lot, and it's kind of comforting to have some of the gaping holes in his memory filled in.

"Figured," he answers, laying out flat on his back. "Was I making up for doing something stupid?"

[notthatcrazy]

"Yeah... you were."

He doesn't want to talk about that, it would only upset both of them. He can't hold Face like he wants to with all his injuries, but it's nice to just rest with him. To know he's still loved.

"Turned out okay in the end, though."

[notjustaface]

"Usually does," he half-chuckles, licking his bruised lips as he reaches out toward Murdock in search of bodily comfort.

"Those rings..." he asks somewhat hesitantly; "are we like married?"

[notthatcrazy]

He settles into a comfortable embrace, trying not to hurt him as they move together.

"Yeah... unofficially. It was for a case, and it just kinda felt right."

God, that seems like forever ago.

[notjustaface]

Face's stomach drops and he doesn't really know why. Of course the press of someone familiar against him is exactly what he needs in that moment.

"Could you uh... do something for me?"

[notthatcrazy]

"What?"

As confused and exhausted as they both are, he still manages to give him a concerned look.

[notjustaface]

His tongue darts out across his lips - hesitant a long moment before starting; "I know this is kind of weird and even silly to ask, but can I kiss you?"

[notthatcrazy]

He lets out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Yeah... god, of course."

[notjustaface]

It's a struggle to push up on his good elbow and by the time he's reached as good as he's gonna get, he manages a bare pained laugh and murmurs; "Gonna need to meet me halfway here..."

He doesn't know why he feels nervous, it's not like it's the first time - not even the first time he remembers - it just feels different now. His partner. His only partner.

[notthatcrazy]

"Right." He looks a little embarrassed as he moves to meet him, touching their lips together gently.

It's not new for him either, but somehow it feels like a fresh start.

[notjustaface]

He won't lie, it's awkward for a brief moment - too much, not enough, he's not sure - but as he sinks down to the bed Murdock follows him straight back until the other man is leaning over him and it all clicks into place. That familiar taste, the scrape of too many days without shaving, the tang of sweat and his own blood.

"God..." he moans against Murdock's lips, lifting a wear arm to wrap it around his shoulder and bring him in close - madly pressing small kisses against his mouth followed by long, needy tastes. "I think I miss this."

[notthatcrazy]

He returns every kiss as good as he gets, soaking in the touch and taste.

"Love you."

[notjustaface]

A deep, guttural moan closes his throat for a moment - but doesn't even start to slow him down.

"Need you... Christ... I'm sorry... I'm so... so... sorry." He wants to remember how good things are, that he's in love and from the sounds of it some pretty crazy love. He just... can't. But that doesn't me it's not there.

[notthatcrazy]

"Stop apologizing."

Face has always been like this... when something's wrong, he wants to fix it, and when he can't it's added to the long list of things he feels are his fault. Murdock isn't going to let that happen this time.

"It'll come back. And if it doesn't, we'll start over."

[notjustaface]

"I know... I know..." he sighs, finally letting himself relax to jut the closeness of having Murdock over him - just a tiny bit of his familiar weight pushing down against him. Familiar. Safe. Good.

"I just want it to be okay."

He kisses him again, slowly this time, simply letting himself feel everything that's going on in his head both bad and good.

His instincts are clear enough, but he knows his instinct is shit in interpersonal relationships. Fuck. Run. Fuck and then run. Doesn't really fix much of anything.

But, it frequently works for him.

[notthatcrazy]

"It will be."

Like Murdock would ever let him get far.

"Just breathe with me."

He holds him just a bit tighter as he concentrates on the right rhythm. Inhale... hold...exhale slowly...

[notjustaface]

It's easy to fall into rhythm with him, letting himself simply Be.

After a long moment of just quietly breathing, his eyes getting heavy with sleep and convinced if Murdock wasn't asleep he was close, Face murmurs; "I love you, even before I figured it out I did. I'm just a really... realy big idiot."

[notthatcrazy]

"Shh." He's almost asleep, but awake enough to hear the quiet words.

"Always knew you did. Even when you couldn't say it."

[notjustaface]

And it's simple enough to just leave it at that - a sigh, more slow and lingering kisses - just letting it go until he's asleep himself and things are okay enough for one night.