Separation, Anxiety

[notjustaface]

It hadn't been a particularly hard mission, at least not by comparison to some of the stunts they've managed in the last ten years, but there was one fatal point where it could fall apart. Face had approximately sixty seconds to make it from tunnel to the next - a journey that shouldn't take more than forty-five seconds - before enemy's defensive explosion went off leaving him not only trapped but pinned down and unable to escape assuming he survived the event.

An unexpected sniper cut thirty seconds off the time he had. He was four seconds too late... just behind enough the blast didn't take him out - but not out. He was trapped behind the line, and utterly fucked.

"Put her in the air, Captain." Hannibal says softly, staring at the plume of dust and debris for any sign that Face had made it through last second. There was none.

Comments

[notthatcrazy]

"No..."

Despite the desperate urge to chase after him, there's nothing he can do about it this time. No chance of a last-minute reprieve. He gets them flying, focusing on his job because he might fall apart if he doesn't.

He sets down back at base, not moving as the others disembark.

[notjustaface]

He knows there's something he should say, but Hannibal is silent for the duration of the short flight - sitting copilot in the small helicopter with BA silent behind them beside the empty seat.

Getting off the chopper, his first thought is to pull out the tunnel maps he'd used to mark the route they took with Face holding back the forces so they had time to get out. The odds of him surviving the blast were slim enough, he couldn't let himself think about what'd happen if he was captured.

A glass of scotch and a cigar at the ready, he pins down the map he needs and sets to thinking.

[notthatcrazy]

After a few moments he follows, looking a bit like a kicked dog. Usually he wouldn't think of interrupting Hannibal while he's thinking, but there's a hint of challenge in his voice as he catches his eye.

"What do we do, boss?"

[notjustaface]

He doesn't have an answer to that question, and he knows it. He takes a long sip off his drink, but doesn't look up from the map.

"Whatever we can."

There's nothing they can do, no smart move, but at the same time he's not about to leave a man behind that might still be alive.

[notthatcrazy]

There's no question about that in his mind. Not going back is not an option.

"You mind if I stay here for a while?"

He's usually the last person BA wants to be around after a flight, and he really doesn't want to be alone.

[notjustaface]

BA's a whole other can of worms, but they all know nobody wanted to leave him behind. It was just protocol.

He nods silently and slides the bottle toward him, if anyone needed a stiff drink he figured it'd be Murdock.

[notthatcrazy]

His hand shakes a bit as he takes the bottle.

"You think he made it?"

His voice is barely louder than a whisper, and he almost doesn't want to hear Hannibal's answer, but he has to ask.

[notjustaface]

He takes a long time to answer, and when he does his voice is calm and steady.

"Doesn't matter what I think," he says, head still down as he traces over the path again, doing the calculation in his head of the area where Face must have gotten pinned down by someone.

[notthatcrazy]

And that non-answer speaks volumes.

He rests his head on his hands, staying silent as he watches the colonel think things through. There's still a good bit of anger mixed with his own guilt and fear, even though he knows it's not really anyone's fault... it was just a matter of timing.

[notjustaface]

He's thinking, and it doesn't look good. Not the way the exit fell... there would have been too many men inside. If he survived he was captured.

"It's all right to be upset, Murdock." He says calmly, finally looking back up at him with an intent gaze. "I know what this means for you."

[notthatcrazy]

"Do you?"

Some of that anger can't help but slip out as he catches his gaze.

"You ever loved anyone that much?"

[notjustaface]

Hannibal knows the pain, Murdock sure is hell isn't the only one hurting here - the team is like his family. Leaving a man behind goes against everything he believes in. But there's risk and then there's suicide.

Biting back the urge to respond with that same frustration, he shakes his head slowly.

"I've had to give the order to leave a man behind."

[notthatcrazy]

It's not really what he means at all, but he resists the urge to snap at him again. Picking a fight won't help anyone.

"When we go back, I want to be there."

No waiting in the wrings on this mission.

[notjustaface]

It's been hours, he's not sure just how many, since they laid him out in the big warm bed. All he really knows is that it was sunny and blazing hot then - now it's pitch dark save for a lantern throwing light across the room, and the only lingering warmth is his best friend curled up beside him.

"Mmm, time's it?" He asks, dry mouth sticky with a vaguely medicinal taste.

[notthatcrazy]

"'Bout quarter to twelve, I think."

He's done his best to stay vigilant, but he's still pretty well out of it. Even under these circumstances, it's comforting to curl up with his partner.

"BA and the Colonel went out to find supplies. We got water... you need anything else?"

He reaches for their collection of medical supplies and notices the duffel bag carrying his stuffed toy collection, smiling a little. He's pretty sure BA knows how important it is to them, though he'd never say it out loud.

[notjustaface]

The shift is enough to draw small stab of pain, but losing the odd comfort of Murdock close to him is enough to spur him into pushing himself to sit up on his wrapped ribs - examining the small gauze squares taped down both arms and legs.

"Yeah... I uh, I guess there's probably no phone?"

[notthatcrazy]

"'Fraid not. There's a CB, but it's for emergencies only."

He helps him get comfortable before slipping out of bed. The cabin is tiny and decorated in what could charitably be described as Paranoid Survivalist Moderne, but the kitchen (if a small sink and a camp stove can even be called that) is well-stocked with the sort of shelf-stable, hearty yet unappetizing food called for in such a situation. He quickly returns to Face's side with water, a few protein bars and a pair of very special stuffed toys.

"Gonna have to change your bandage soon, but it can probably wait 'til morning. Try not to move too much."

[notjustaface]

"She is gonna be pissed..." Face half-laughs, sinking back in bed despite the urge to try and get up and walk around.

Still the water is a godsend and even as he chews the first bite of the less-than-appetizing energy bar he can feel his body responding positively enough. "Thanks man, I'm starving." He swallows the lump hard, taking another bite.

Picking up the bear in camo with a bemused smile tugging at his lips, he adds; "Literally."

[notthatcrazy]

It's not something you'd expect to see in a combat zone, of course. He chews his lip as he realizes which 'she' he means.

"She'll understand."

He's not quite sure how to play this. He needs to bring Face up to speed, but telling him too much at once is likely to overwhelm him and just make things worse. He unwraps a bar himself and occupies himself with filling his empty stomach.

"Guess we should probably have a talk soon."

[notjustaface]

There's something in the tone of Murdock's voice that bothers him and he sets the bear back down between them to focus on the conversation and staving off the hunger.

"I told you man, I'll be fine. Takes more than a few bad ribs to put me down. We've all had worse."

[notthatcrazy]

"I know you'll be fine. But there's stuff you need to know."

His own bear is tucked up by the pillow, watching over them both. He takes another bite of food as he considers things.

"Sorry, that sounds kinda creepy."

[notjustaface]

You can't just say things like that and expect him to let it drop, Murdock.

He finishes the bar and pushes himself up on one aching elbow to takes a few sips of water. "Yeah? Like what?"

[notthatcrazy]

He doesn't expect him to, really. He's just not sure how to ease him into it slowly.

"What's the last thing you remember before you got caught?"

He'd told himself he wouldn't ask, but he kind of needs to know where to start.

[notjustaface]

He got caught, that alone is enough to sting even if the question doesn't make much sense.

Face shakes his head, not really wanting to admit most of his memories are a bit of a mess - he's not thinking clearly, but really who would? "We were deployed to find something and we got it but I didn't make it out."

He taked a deep breath, letting the pain clear his mind a little bit. "Uh, I guess before that it's sort of a blur. We got back from the last mission and I remember picking out... uh... well, the uh... ring..." He had planned on not telling Murdock until after he'd asked and it was settled, but as it's the clearest memory he has at the moment it'll have to do.

"It's no big deal, I was tortured and drugged and knocked out for the last couple days, things are a litte scrambled but I'm fine."

[notthatcrazy]

He tries to keep his expression as neutral as possible, not wanting to betray his previous knowledge of the ring situation. Damn it, this is going to break his heart all over again.

"Scrambled is right. You, uh... may be missing some memories in there."

There's just no good way to clue someone in to the fact that they've (hopefully not permanently) blanked out the past few years of their life.