Separation, Anxiety

[notjustaface]

It hadn't been a particularly hard mission, at least not by comparison to some of the stunts they've managed in the last ten years, but there was one fatal point where it could fall apart. Face had approximately sixty seconds to make it from tunnel to the next - a journey that shouldn't take more than forty-five seconds - before enemy's defensive explosion went off leaving him not only trapped but pinned down and unable to escape assuming he survived the event.

An unexpected sniper cut thirty seconds off the time he had. He was four seconds too late... just behind enough the blast didn't take him out - but not out. He was trapped behind the line, and utterly fucked.

"Put her in the air, Captain." Hannibal says softly, staring at the plume of dust and debris for any sign that Face had made it through last second. There was none.

Comments

[notthatcrazy]

"No..."

Despite the desperate urge to chase after him, there's nothing he can do about it this time. No chance of a last-minute reprieve. He gets them flying, focusing on his job because he might fall apart if he doesn't.

He sets down back at base, not moving as the others disembark.

[notjustaface]

He knows there's something he should say, but Hannibal is silent for the duration of the short flight - sitting copilot in the small helicopter with BA silent behind them beside the empty seat.

Getting off the chopper, his first thought is to pull out the tunnel maps he'd used to mark the route they took with Face holding back the forces so they had time to get out. The odds of him surviving the blast were slim enough, he couldn't let himself think about what'd happen if he was captured.

A glass of scotch and a cigar at the ready, he pins down the map he needs and sets to thinking.

[notthatcrazy]

After a few moments he follows, looking a bit like a kicked dog. Usually he wouldn't think of interrupting Hannibal while he's thinking, but there's a hint of challenge in his voice as he catches his eye.

"What do we do, boss?"

[notjustaface]

He doesn't have an answer to that question, and he knows it. He takes a long sip off his drink, but doesn't look up from the map.

"Whatever we can."

There's nothing they can do, no smart move, but at the same time he's not about to leave a man behind that might still be alive.

[notthatcrazy]

There's no question about that in his mind. Not going back is not an option.

"You mind if I stay here for a while?"

He's usually the last person BA wants to be around after a flight, and he really doesn't want to be alone.

[notjustaface]

BA's a whole other can of worms, but they all know nobody wanted to leave him behind. It was just protocol.

He nods silently and slides the bottle toward him, if anyone needed a stiff drink he figured it'd be Murdock.

[notthatcrazy]

His hand shakes a bit as he takes the bottle.

"You think he made it?"

His voice is barely louder than a whisper, and he almost doesn't want to hear Hannibal's answer, but he has to ask.

[notjustaface]

He takes a long time to answer, and when he does his voice is calm and steady.

"Doesn't matter what I think," he says, head still down as he traces over the path again, doing the calculation in his head of the area where Face must have gotten pinned down by someone.

[notthatcrazy]

And that non-answer speaks volumes.

He rests his head on his hands, staying silent as he watches the colonel think things through. There's still a good bit of anger mixed with his own guilt and fear, even though he knows it's not really anyone's fault... it was just a matter of timing.

[notjustaface]

He's thinking, and it doesn't look good. Not the way the exit fell... there would have been too many men inside. If he survived he was captured.

"It's all right to be upset, Murdock." He says calmly, finally looking back up at him with an intent gaze. "I know what this means for you."

[notthatcrazy]

"Do you?"

Some of that anger can't help but slip out as he catches his gaze.

"You ever loved anyone that much?"

[notjustaface]

Hannibal knows the pain, Murdock sure is hell isn't the only one hurting here - the team is like his family. Leaving a man behind goes against everything he believes in. But there's risk and then there's suicide.

Biting back the urge to respond with that same frustration, he shakes his head slowly.

"I've had to give the order to leave a man behind."

[notthatcrazy]

It's not really what he means at all, but he resists the urge to snap at him again. Picking a fight won't help anyone.

"When we go back, I want to be there."

No waiting in the wrings on this mission.

[notjustaface]

And that draws out another long silence as he looks back down at the map and then takes another drink.

"Murdock..." He sighs, shaking his head. There's no easy way to say it.

[notthatcrazy]

There's an odd mixture of defeat and disbelief as he catches the hesitance.

"What are you thinking?"

[notjustaface]

He traces over the map, letting his finger linger on the red 'x' where they made their escape. "If he survived the blast..."

And it's a big 'if'. A big enough 'if' that he's even questioning the wisdom of hope.

[notthatcrazy]

"I know what we're up against."

He settles his hands on the table to stop the shaking.

"But I have to know for sure."

[notjustaface]

"Do you really know?" He spits back, taking a deep breath to calm himself before speaking again.

"We'd need at least... I don't know maybe ten... fifteen men. A strike team. They'll have him lacked down - interrogating him. Trying to find out who we're working for."

[notthatcrazy]

He makes a strangled sound and buries his head in his hands again. It's going to be a while before he's composed enough to continue talking about this.

[notjustaface]

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you, Murdock..." Hannibal's voice softens again, the frustration tapering back to the sinking pain in his gut.

"We need to think about this before we run in there half-cocked. It won't do him any good if we're captured... or worse."

[notthatcrazy]

"No... I know."

He looks up after a moment, wiping his face on his sleeve.

"We gotta think of something."

He may have some issues with him on a personal level, but things will have to be seriously fucked up before he loses faith in Hannibal's strategizing abilities.

[notjustaface]

Hannibal nods, staring down as he searches for some sort of answer.

"I'm working on it."

As fast as his mind can work, considering Murdock isn't the only one shaken by the loss.

"But you have to be ready for this to end badly."

[notthatcrazy]

He nods, looking miserable as he tries not to break down again.

"I just need to know."

It's going to devastate him if they lose him, but not knowing is killing him.

[notjustaface]

As he takes another drink, Hannibal's eyes narrow down to a small black mark where he'd initially considered going in but avoided once he found a much more secure route.

"I know..." he says softly, tapping his finger on the mark.

It'd be a gamble... and hell of a lot of sneaking for the three of them... but it wasn't impossible.

[notthatcrazy]

He knows Hannibal well enough to sense that he's had an idea, but he knows better than to interrupt him. He pulls his jacket tighter around himself as he leans in to look.