The Concept of Settling Down

[notjustaface]

It's been a long couple years, and it's starting to wear on Face - it's starting to wear on all of them, he thinks. And no matter how hard the boss pushes it feels like they're never going to get close to the ultimate goal... to clearing their names and being anything but men on the run.

The natural instinct, the instinct of a con-man, is to find a place and dig in. Start over. New identities, new roots. Of course, that's something he can't voice - not even to Murdock. He knows they wouldn't understand why it's the most viable option when as far as they're concerned freedom could possibly be right around the damn corner.

Still, a little settling down doesn't sound like a half bad idea.

They're just over the US-Mexico border heading into Texas on day four of job that only seems to be getting longer. They won't be stopping until Canada, save for maybe a night in a hotel when they're all so tired and angry at each other they can't think straight. It's Hannibal's shift to drive and BA's tucked into the passenger seat beside them, leaving Murdock and Face to fight against the sway and bump of the dark cargo hold with a few pillows and blankets and their limited baggage.

Groping blindly Face finds Murdock's hand and wraps his fingers around it, squeezing gently. "I'll be glad when this is all over."

Comments

[notthatcrazy]

"Shhh." He wraps his arms around his partner and buries his face in his neck for a moment, not caring that they're in plain view of the others. When he turns to address Hannibal, he doesn't let Face go.

"It's gettin' real hard to see the end of the road, boss."

He's the eternal optimist of the team, but even he's starting to realize that this might not have an end.

"And I mean it when I say I'm under some serious stress here," he says more quietly. "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

He will, if that's what it takes.

[notjustaface]

"You're fine..." Hannibal replies, his voice softened as he considers the remark.

Face lets his arm wrap around Murdock's waist - holding him close. "We need a break, is all I'm saying. Not giving up... just maybe a couple months to settle down and get our bearings."

"And end up in prison."

"You really think I'm that far off my game?" Face shoots back, "We can disappear and you know it. No jobs means no red flags, maybe a nice apartment somewhere - give me a week and I can have us all clean identities."

"To what end, Lieutenant?" Hannibal's voice takes on a dark, threatened tone. "To play house?" His eyes turn to Murdock; "I know you. Both of you. And I know we're all suffering here - but we're doing it together. As a team."

[notthatcrazy]

"I'm not fine," he snaps, getting tired of the dismissal. "Neither of us are."

It's rare that he gets so worked up, even though he's keeping fairly calm on the surface.

"Maybe I would like to settle down with my boyfriend for a little while, okay? Am I supposed to be ashamed of that? Or would you rather we keep pushing ourselves past the breaking point 'til one of us ends up dead?"

[notjustaface]

Face's arm twitches, pulling him back with a resigned sigh.

"Just think about it, boss, okay? We could all use a break... and it'll give you time to pull what the feds have on us and maybe feed them a little something so it's more like what they think they have..."

Hannibal still seems set on it, but sighs out a thick plume of smoke - shaking his head after several long minutes of consideration. "A month. Daily contact." His arms slacken slightly; "I assume you've already got a plan?"

[notthatcrazy]

A month isn't much, but it's something. He snuggles back against Face's side.

"Of course we'll be in contact."

He really doesn't want to desert anyone.

[notjustaface]

Face nods, biting his lower lip before offering; "I've been looking at places over the border - we're already headed there and it's a quiet area where nobody would bother us or even look at us sideways."

Hannibal lowers his eyes, tapping the ash off his cigar. "And what, you'll go back to scamming for cash? You're better than that, Face."

"Don't worry about that," he answers, not really wanting to admit that it pretty much was his plan. "We'll be fine. Low profile, no trouble."

The phrase 'playing house' sticks with him, it's meant to be hurtful - Hannibal's way of saying he doesn't disapprove of their relationship but also doesn't think that they should be going anywhere near that route.

[notthatcrazy]

It stings, the feeling that he's watching and waiting for one of them to screw this up. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and managed to come through it just fine, thank you very much.

"We'll work it out," he says resolutely.

[notjustaface]

He can't stop them, and he knows it - one way or another Face is just impetuous enough to leave with or without his blessing... and like it or not, Murdock would go with him.

"Please, boss. We need this. Just a break, some time to decompress after this last string of jobs."

[notthatcrazy]

There's things Hannibal doesn't know, like the fact that Face has wanted this, on some level, since they broke out. A chance at a real, normal life, or at least as close as they can get to one.

"Just for a while."

He keeps wanting to stress their loyalty to the team, but he knows that in Face's current mood he's liable to bolt without even looking back. It's not the most fun situation to be stuck in the middle of.

[notjustaface]

It's something part of him even hopes Murdock hasn't figured as serious - but he doesn't even know how to deal with it. A month will give him enough time to bring himself back down to earth, he hopes.

"Murdock needs this. I need this..." he raises both eyebrows to Hannibal; "And I'm pretty sure you need it too."

[notthatcrazy]

He nods silently. Hannibal would never admit it, it would feel too much like admitting defeat, but they can all see it's true.

"Let us take a break, regroup, and we can come back stronger."

The Colonel still looks skeptical, taking a long drag on his cigar. "You're serious about this."

[notjustaface]

"You know me, man..." Face sighs again, resting his forehead against Murdock, eyes sleepy and half-lidded. "Maybe this is just playing house or whatever... but a break's a break."

Hannibal shakes his head again, then nods slowly. "I'll give you a month. But if you get into trouble I might not be able to pull your ass out of the fire."

[notthatcrazy]

"What, you don't trust us to keep each other outta trouble for one little month?"

There's a slight smile on his face as he teases, but he knows Hannibal's worry isn't entirely baseless.

[notjustaface]

Not baseless at all.

Face is hesitant for the first time since climbing out of the van. Then, he affirms quietly; "We'll be fine, man. We watch out for each other."

[notthatcrazy]

"Always."

There's a fierce protectiveness in his voice that only shows up on rare occasions, but it's there, and very real.

[notjustaface]

"There's a job waiting for us in Montreal." Hannibal licks his lips, stalling the inevitable.

"After that, assuming you've got your cover story straight, you're free to go."

[notthatcrazy]

He nods, silently. He makes it sound so... final.

One more job, then a month's rest. They can do this.

[notjustaface]

Exhausted, but thankful, Face takes what he can get out of it.

"We can do that. I... I can do that."

[notthatcrazy]

The matter settled - for the most part - they eat the rest of the meal in relative silence. Extricating himself from his partner's arms, he catches up to Hannibal as he goes to leave.

"Can I talk to you, boss? In private?"

[notjustaface]

Face, for his part, is more or less asleep on the sofa - waiting for Murdock to wake him for bed, assuming they get one.

Hannibal looks up from a file on the next mission, clearly tired but still determined to give it one last read. "Sure, of course."

[notthatcrazy]

He's still a bit fidgety, but he feels somewhat calmer after their talk.

"Just wanted to thank you for listenin' to us. And I kinda wanted to talk to you about Face."

He glances back at him, a faint smile crossing his face as he watches his boyfriend sleep. Sleep is the only time he looks anything approaching innocent.

[notjustaface]

The thanks he'll take quietly, they talked and he listened and made the only compromise he was comfortable with.

Face, however, is another topic.

"What did he get himself wrapped up in now?" He doesn't pretend to know everything his lieutenant has up his sleeve - even he can't be all knowing despite his best efforts - but he knows if anyone has a pulse on what he's done it'd be his partner in crime.

[notthatcrazy]

"It's nothing like that." He doesn't actually know the full extent of Face's plans, and something tells him that's by design.

"I'm kinda worried about him, actually."

[notjustaface]

Some things are best left unknown.

Hannibal raises an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair as he closes the file - giving Murdock his full attention. If it's enough to make the pilot worry out loud, it's at least worth listening to.

"Worried?" He asks calmly; "About what, exactly?"

[notthatcrazy]

"You know he told me we might want to have a first aid kit on hand for that little chat?"

He's not sure how much of that was serious and how much was the exhaustion and nerves talking, but he's still concerned. Part of him still believes he deserves to be hurt.

He holds up a hand to forestall Hannibal's protest. "Look, I know you've known him longer than I have and that there are times he really does need a swift kick to knock some sense into him, but it worries me that he'd think that about this."