notjustaface | The Concept of Settling Down

It's been a long couple years, and it's starting to wear on Face - it's starting to wear on all of them, he thinks. And no matter how hard the boss pushes it feels like they're never going to get close to the ultimate goal... to clearing their names and being anything but men on the run.

The natural instinct, the instinct of a con-man, is to find a place and dig in. Start over. New identities, new roots. Of course, that's something he can't voice - not even to Murdock. He knows they wouldn't understand why it's the most viable option when as far as they're concerned freedom could possibly be right around the damn corner.

Still, a little settling down doesn't sound like a half bad idea.

They're just over the US-Mexico border heading into Texas on day four of job that only seems to be getting longer. They won't be stopping until Canada, save for maybe a night in a hotel when they're all so tired and angry at each other they can't think straight. It's Hannibal's shift to drive and BA's tucked into the passenger seat beside them, leaving Murdock and Face to fight against the sway and bump of the dark cargo hold with a few pillows and blankets and their limited baggage.

Groping blindly Face finds Murdock's hand and wraps his fingers around it, squeezing gently. "I'll be glad when this is all over."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

notthatcrazy

"Me too."

He's been even more fidgety than usual lately, pacing and rubbing his arms when he doesn't have something else to focus on. He's restless.

From:

notjustaface

They're all getting restless, but it's hard not to notice when Murdock's heading toward what he's learned to call a manic episode. It scares him, and as much as he knows they're inevitable he'd really like to try and avoid it.

"I'm sick of running, man." The words come out quiet, but sure.

From:

notthatcrazy

"Yeah."

He's still on his meds, thankfully, but the lack of routine is a big source of stress in his life. He's still learning that he can talk about things.

"It's startin' to get to me."

From:

notjustaface

Talking it out doesn't exactly come naturally to either of them, but slowly Face is learning to say what's on his mind.

"I'm gonna bug out if we don't get down time after this. We're good on money... really good... I can't do another month job."

From:

notthatcrazy

"Me neither." He gives up any pretense of maintaining appropriate distance and snuggles in close against him.

"I know we can't settle down for too long, but maybe we could find a place to dig in and lay low for a while?"

It'll be alright as long as they stay under the radar... it has to be.

From:

notjustaface

He's quiet a long moment, then responds in a tone low enough to barely be heard over the din of the road; "Yeah... I've been thinking about that..."

It's a quiet admission, the sort of thing he doesn't know how he'll tell Hannibal but Murdock can keep under his baseball cap.

"There's a place I was looking at in Montreal when we get there."

From:

notthatcrazy

"Yeah?"

Face isn't as much of a forward thinker as Hannibal - few people are - but it helps to know he's not the only one itching to go to ground. The thought brings up another point.

"You talked to the boss about this yet?"

From:

notjustaface

"I haven't completely lost my mind yet..." he half laughs, leaning against his partner when they hit a slight bump in the road.

"It's just a thought, you know? Somewhere relatively safe where me can maybe crash for a little bit. Alone."

From:

notthatcrazy

"Well, take it from one who has," he says with a wry smile. "Gonna have to tell him sooner or later."

From:

notjustaface

"Maybe a few days on the road'll knock some sense into him first."

They're all unwashed, unshaven and exhausted. Mexico to Canada is no easy haul after a gig that involved weeks in the middle of nowhere. Part of him really does hope it'll soften the old man to his way of thinking. Part of him knows better than that.

"I'm so done with this shit."

It's the exhaustion talking, really.

From:

notthatcrazy

"We need the downtime," he agrees. "What're you thinking about doing when we get it?"

They need the break, but Face doesn't do well without some kind of mission in his life.

From:

notjustaface

"Mmmm..." he groans, closing his eyes against the darkness.

"Anything but this."

He hasn't thought that far ahead, mostly because he knows it's a pipe dream when Hannibal tells him they can't split.

From:

notthatcrazy

Too bad Murdock's banking on it now. Once he gets an idea in his head it's damn near impossible to get him to let it go. (At least this time the idea isn't 'chocolate jalapeno soup.')

"You sound so out of it." He kisses him gently.

From:

notjustaface

That one wasn't bad... almost like mole sauce gone horribly overkill. The cast iron stomach of BA gave it a good home.

But Murdock's kisses taste like burgers and stale beer and for a moment, he's content with them.

"We all are, man. I'd take Baghdad over this any day."

From:

notthatcrazy

At least mole sauce generally has more accompaniment than tortilla chips and a prayer.

"Yeah.... gettin' kinda loud in my head again."

He knows Face wants to be kept up to speed on these things, and he doesn't have to worry about fear or judgment or mockery. He's known that for ages, of course, but somehow it's still sinking in.

"You want me to be there when you talk to Hannibal? Like a united front?"

From:

notjustaface

Face worries about him, honestly less than he used to but still probably more than he should. The admission earns him a gentle kiss brushed against his ear.

"I dunno," he sighs, shaking his head. "He's not gonna take it well."

From:

notthatcrazy

He doesn't know why that simple gesture helps so much, but it does.

"Probably not," he sighs. "Don't want him to think we're deserting him."

He's still not sure exactly what Hannibal thinks of their relationship, but 'wary' would probably be the best term. It's not that he wants to split up the team, but he needs this.

From:

notjustaface

"Right now?" He licks his lips as he decides exactly what he's trying to say; "I dunno, going AWOL is sounding like a good idea."

From:

notthatcrazy

"That's just the exhaustion talkin'."

He shakes his head. They've gone through too much as a team.

From:

notjustaface

Besides, it's not like Hannibal wouldn't just find them anyway... He didn't doubt the boss would no matter how far they ran to hide.

"Yeah..." He groans, nosing against a stubbled cheek. "Still, how long are we really gonna keep pretending we'll get our lives back some day?"

It's the first time he's really ever voiced his pessimism about their situation, and he braces himself for Murdock to rehash the company Kool-aid Hannibal's been feeding them in the form of hope.

From:

notthatcrazy

He's quiet for a long while. It's in his nature to be hopeful, but he knows that things are never going to be like they were.

"All we can do is work with what we've got."

It sounds like a hollow attempt at affirmation to him, but it's the best he can do.

Edited Date: 2013-05-31 10:28 pm (UTC)

From:

notjustaface

He's nearly asleep again when he hears the hopeful response - and he knows Murdock means well enough.

Quickly considering his words, he responds; "Eventually we're gonna have to stop living out of duffle bags wherever we happen to be that night."