The Concept of Settling Down

[notjustaface]

It's been a long couple years, and it's starting to wear on Face - it's starting to wear on all of them, he thinks. And no matter how hard the boss pushes it feels like they're never going to get close to the ultimate goal... to clearing their names and being anything but men on the run.

The natural instinct, the instinct of a con-man, is to find a place and dig in. Start over. New identities, new roots. Of course, that's something he can't voice - not even to Murdock. He knows they wouldn't understand why it's the most viable option when as far as they're concerned freedom could possibly be right around the damn corner.

Still, a little settling down doesn't sound like a half bad idea.

They're just over the US-Mexico border heading into Texas on day four of job that only seems to be getting longer. They won't be stopping until Canada, save for maybe a night in a hotel when they're all so tired and angry at each other they can't think straight. It's Hannibal's shift to drive and BA's tucked into the passenger seat beside them, leaving Murdock and Face to fight against the sway and bump of the dark cargo hold with a few pillows and blankets and their limited baggage.

Groping blindly Face finds Murdock's hand and wraps his fingers around it, squeezing gently. "I'll be glad when this is all over."

Comments

[notjustaface]

He earned that scar - thankfully mostly covered by the hair that's grown well past even skimming regulation length.

"I've known him since I was almost kicked out of the Army about a dozen times... sometimes I deserve a little tough love."

[notthatcrazy]

"Sometimes," he agrees readily. "But saying you're tired and you need to take a rest before you fall apart ain't one of those times."

He doesn't doubt that the boss'll be angry at first, and take a lot of convincing, but this doesn't seem like the kind of situation he'd use force over.

[notjustaface]

The problem is 'I'm tired and need a break' is more apt to come out as 'I'm done with this shit' given the mood he's in now.

Of course, he doesn't admit that much - instead he presses a fond kiss to Murdock's forehead and yawns against his cheek.

[notthatcrazy]

Which is why Murdock wants to be there. You know things are getting hairy when he gets to be the voice of reason.

"Love you," he says simply.

[notjustaface]

Face isn't exactly on his game, he's tired and frustrated and reason is beginning to get a little difficult tap into when it comes to their situation. All told, he's sick of always running.

"I know," he squeezes even tighter, pressing the metal of his faux-wedding bands against Murdock's fingers purposefully. "Love you too, man."

[notthatcrazy]

The gesture is felt and appreciated. There's really not a lot of 'faux' in their faux-marriage anymore, though saying that out loud still seems like asking for trouble.

"We'll figure things out," he murmurs sleepily.

[notjustaface]

Part of him still clings to the fact that he doesn't believe in marriage - that there are deeper things.

Like love.

"We always do," he presses another gentle kiss to his forehead.

[notthatcrazy]

He's long believed that what they have doesn't need or fit any formal, traditional definition... but the rings are a real nice reminder.

"That's the spirit."

They continue in that vein, quietly comforting each other, until they finally pull into the parking lot of a cheap motel. Exhaustion gets the best of even the likes of Hannibal Smith sooner or later.

[notjustaface]

A motel, thank goodness. He's ready to pass out anywhere softer than a few blankets in the back of the van.

Food, somehow, takes priority and it gives him a chance to talk to Hannibal however exhausted they may be.

[notthatcrazy]

Somehow they manage to stay upright and mostly coherent while Hannibal gets the food and room arrangements taken care of. Interrupting him while he's in Mission Mode is a sure way to get on his bad side.

He tags along after Face, letting him take the lead but ready to back him up as needed.

[notjustaface]

"Boss..." he leans back against the wall his chair is propped against, managing to keep his eyes open if nothing else. "We can't keep doing this."

"We're okay for this stop." Hannibal answers, lighting a cigar near the window. "We're making good time."

They are, actually. Driving in shifts helps. "You and I both know that's not what I'm talking about. We can't run forever, you know?"

"And we won't. Just as long as it takes..."

"It's a pipe dream, Hannibal. There's no end to this and you know it!"

Hannibal crosses both arms over his chest, tucking the cigar into the corner of his mouth with a glower.

[notthatcrazy]

"We all need a break, Colonel," he says quietly, hoping his outward calm will present a counterpoint to Face's exhausted nerves. "You know I don't do too well without a routine, and this ain't good for me either."

He knows Hannibal's read his file, and can probably read enough into that statement to understand what he means.

[notjustaface]

The Colonel's lips crease tighter and he shakes his head. "We're close, I can feel it."

"You can feel it? Because all I can feel is my back killing me from sleeping in the truck and my eyes trying to give out on me."

"And all I hear is you whining." Hannibal shoots back, crossing his arms over his chest. "We all knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I'm telling you... we're getting our names out there. We're building awareness of our cause and the injustice that was done to us. All of us."

"Injustice! I'd rather go AWOL than hear you tell me about injustice!"

[notthatcrazy]

"Shhh." He wraps his arms around his partner and buries his face in his neck for a moment, not caring that they're in plain view of the others. When he turns to address Hannibal, he doesn't let Face go.

"It's gettin' real hard to see the end of the road, boss."

He's the eternal optimist of the team, but even he's starting to realize that this might not have an end.

"And I mean it when I say I'm under some serious stress here," he says more quietly. "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

He will, if that's what it takes.

[notjustaface]

"You're fine..." Hannibal replies, his voice softened as he considers the remark.

Face lets his arm wrap around Murdock's waist - holding him close. "We need a break, is all I'm saying. Not giving up... just maybe a couple months to settle down and get our bearings."

"And end up in prison."

"You really think I'm that far off my game?" Face shoots back, "We can disappear and you know it. No jobs means no red flags, maybe a nice apartment somewhere - give me a week and I can have us all clean identities."

"To what end, Lieutenant?" Hannibal's voice takes on a dark, threatened tone. "To play house?" His eyes turn to Murdock; "I know you. Both of you. And I know we're all suffering here - but we're doing it together. As a team."

[notthatcrazy]

"I'm not fine," he snaps, getting tired of the dismissal. "Neither of us are."

It's rare that he gets so worked up, even though he's keeping fairly calm on the surface.

"Maybe I would like to settle down with my boyfriend for a little while, okay? Am I supposed to be ashamed of that? Or would you rather we keep pushing ourselves past the breaking point 'til one of us ends up dead?"

[notjustaface]

Face's arm twitches, pulling him back with a resigned sigh.

"Just think about it, boss, okay? We could all use a break... and it'll give you time to pull what the feds have on us and maybe feed them a little something so it's more like what they think they have..."

Hannibal still seems set on it, but sighs out a thick plume of smoke - shaking his head after several long minutes of consideration. "A month. Daily contact." His arms slacken slightly; "I assume you've already got a plan?"

[notthatcrazy]

A month isn't much, but it's something. He snuggles back against Face's side.

"Of course we'll be in contact."

He really doesn't want to desert anyone.

[notjustaface]

Face nods, biting his lower lip before offering; "I've been looking at places over the border - we're already headed there and it's a quiet area where nobody would bother us or even look at us sideways."

Hannibal lowers his eyes, tapping the ash off his cigar. "And what, you'll go back to scamming for cash? You're better than that, Face."

"Don't worry about that," he answers, not really wanting to admit that it pretty much was his plan. "We'll be fine. Low profile, no trouble."

The phrase 'playing house' sticks with him, it's meant to be hurtful - Hannibal's way of saying he doesn't disapprove of their relationship but also doesn't think that they should be going anywhere near that route.

[notthatcrazy]

It stings, the feeling that he's watching and waiting for one of them to screw this up. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and managed to come through it just fine, thank you very much.

"We'll work it out," he says resolutely.

[notjustaface]

He can't stop them, and he knows it - one way or another Face is just impetuous enough to leave with or without his blessing... and like it or not, Murdock would go with him.

"Please, boss. We need this. Just a break, some time to decompress after this last string of jobs."

[notthatcrazy]

There's things Hannibal doesn't know, like the fact that Face has wanted this, on some level, since they broke out. A chance at a real, normal life, or at least as close as they can get to one.

"Just for a while."

He keeps wanting to stress their loyalty to the team, but he knows that in Face's current mood he's liable to bolt without even looking back. It's not the most fun situation to be stuck in the middle of.

[notjustaface]

It's something part of him even hopes Murdock hasn't figured as serious - but he doesn't even know how to deal with it. A month will give him enough time to bring himself back down to earth, he hopes.

"Murdock needs this. I need this..." he raises both eyebrows to Hannibal; "And I'm pretty sure you need it too."

[notthatcrazy]

He nods silently. Hannibal would never admit it, it would feel too much like admitting defeat, but they can all see it's true.

"Let us take a break, regroup, and we can come back stronger."

The Colonel still looks skeptical, taking a long drag on his cigar. "You're serious about this."

[notjustaface]

"You know me, man..." Face sighs again, resting his forehead against Murdock, eyes sleepy and half-lidded. "Maybe this is just playing house or whatever... but a break's a break."

Hannibal shakes his head again, then nods slowly. "I'll give you a month. But if you get into trouble I might not be able to pull your ass out of the fire."